Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

25

Feb

21

Dec

fuckyeahonlygodforgives asked: Hi there, I just came across one of your articles on askmen (frantically trying to avoid reading any of the other ...pieces) because I can't close a tab with a picture of a bra promising "A male perspective on bras". And I am really concerned: is this supposed to help people? Or is it part of your comedy thing? Because I'm sorry to say, you're not helping. If you want to stop spreading bra fitting myths, write me please. The bra-wearing part of the population will thank you.

Thanks for your concern.

While the piece is meant for comedic purposes, these were actual things I was taught by fitters. Mind you, I know they’re a little inaccurate, but when I was dealing with men in the store who had no idea what size their significant other was, it was the best way to get a reasonable estimation. Better than him walking home with a 34DD when she’s actually a 36B.

The Fix It Dance, or The Moose Knuckle Shuffle - YouTube

To all my fellas who have ever had to “adjust” themselves, but couldn’t because they were in public. I wrote this song for you. The struggle is real

18

May

Birthday card shopping for mom. I think we have a winner

Birthday card shopping for mom. I think we have a winner

08

May

Nothing says “Happy Father’s Day!” like a tie with the same pattern as the couch you were conceived on

Nothing says “Happy Father’s Day!” like a tie with the same pattern as the couch you were conceived on

Great way to start my day!!

Great way to start my day!!

07

May

How to fold a thong: what I learned selling thongs at Victoria's Secret

29

Apr

11 Haunting Larry David Tattoos

I’ve found my next tat: #8

27

Apr

After months of speculation and DNA tests, it appears my girlfriend’s dog is half schnauzer, half Civil War cavalry officer

After months of speculation and DNA tests, it appears my girlfriend’s dog is half schnauzer, half Civil War cavalry officer